What Happened to You? - Understanding Trauma & Building Resilience

🧠 What Happened to You?

Understanding Trauma, Building Resilience, and Finding Healing

Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey's groundbreaking approach shifts the question from "What's wrong with you?" to "What happened to you?"

This perspective change is revolutionary - it moves us from shame and judgment to understanding and healing. Your behaviors and patterns make sense when we understand your story.

Trauma isn't what happens to you - it's what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you.

🔍 Understanding Trauma

The Trauma Continuum
Trauma exists on a spectrum from single incidents to complex, ongoing experiences. All trauma impacts the developing brain and nervous system.
Your Brain on Trauma
Trauma changes brain structure and function, particularly in areas responsible for memory, emotion regulation, and stress response.
The Body Keeps the Score
Traumatic experiences are stored in the body and nervous system, not just in conscious memory. Healing must address the whole person.

📊 Types of Traumatic Experiences

Recognizing Different Forms of Trauma

Acute Trauma

Single overwhelming events: accidents, natural disasters, violent crimes, sudden loss

Complex Trauma

Repeated, prolonged exposure: childhood abuse, domestic violence, war, systemic oppression

Developmental Trauma

Early life disruptions: neglect, inconsistent caregiving, family dysfunction, medical trauma

Intergenerational Trauma

Trauma passed through families and communities across generations through behavior and biology

Historical Trauma

Collective trauma experienced by groups: slavery, genocide, forced displacement, cultural destruction

"The most important thing to remember is that trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility."

🌱 The Healing Journey

Dr. Perry's Sequential Model of Healing

1
REGULATE
First, we must help the brain stem and nervous system feel safe. This includes rhythm, movement, and soothing activities.
2
RELATE
Healthy relationships provide the foundation for healing. Connection with safe people rewires our capacity for trust.
3
REASON
Only when regulated and connected can we effectively process memories and develop new understanding through therapy.

💪 Building Resilience

The Four Core Elements of Resilience

Attachment

Safe, consistent relationships that provide emotional security and co-regulation

Self-Regulation

The ability to manage emotions, stress, and physiological responses effectively

Self-Reliance

Confidence in your ability to solve problems and navigate challenges independently

Self-Efficacy

Belief in your power to influence your environment and create positive change

🏃‍♂️ Daily Healing Practices

Nervous System Regulation Tools

Rhythmic Activities
Engage in repetitive, soothing activities that regulate the brainstem
Walking, drumming, rocking, breathing exercises
Mindful Movement
Gentle physical activities that reconnect you with your body
Yoga, tai chi, dancing, stretching
Grounding Techniques
Practices that bring you into the present moment
5-4-3-2-1 sensory technique, progressive muscle relaxation
Creative Expression
Non-verbal ways to process and express experiences
Art, music, writing, crafts
Nature Connection
Spending time in natural environments for nervous system reset
Forest bathing, gardening, outdoor walks
Social Connection
Building and maintaining healthy relationships
Regular check-ins with trusted friends, support groups
"You are not broken. You are not damaged goods. You are a survivor who developed adaptive strategies to cope with difficult circumstances."

⚠️ When to Seek Professional Help

Signs You May Need Additional Support:
  • Persistent intrusive thoughts, memories, or nightmares
  • Severe anxiety, depression, or emotional numbing
  • Substance abuse or self-destructive behaviors
  • Difficulty maintaining relationships or employment
  • Suicidal thoughts or plans
  • Dissociation or feeling disconnected from reality
  • Inability to function in daily life
Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Trauma-informed therapy can provide specialized tools for healing.

🔄 Your Healing Timeline

Understanding the Process

Months 1-3: Safety & Stabilization
Focus on nervous system regulation and building safety
Months 3-12: Processing & Integration
Gradually working through traumatic memories with support
Year 1+: Growth & Thriving
Building new patterns and post-traumatic growth