💕 How We Love: Discover Your Love Style
Transform your marriage by understanding how you and your partner connect
Every person has a unique way of giving and receiving love, shaped by their earliest relationships and deepest emotional needs. Understanding your love style—and your partner's—is the key to creating the deep, lasting connection you both desire.
Based on groundbreaking research in attachment theory and relationship psychology, "How We Love" reveals that most relationship conflicts stem not from incompatibility, but from misunderstanding each other's love styles.
The Love Style Reality
🎯 The Six Love Styles
Core drive: "I need to make others happy to feel loved"
In relationships: Self-sacrificing, difficulty expressing needs, fear of conflict
Love language: Acts of service and words of affirmation
- Puts partner's needs before their own
- Struggles to say "no"
- Feels guilty when taking time for self
- Avoids confrontation at all costs
- Seeks approval and validation
Core drive: "I've been hurt and need someone to rescue me"
In relationships: Helpless, blame-focused, seeks caretaking
Love language: Quality time and acts of service
- Feels powerless in relationships
- Blames others for their problems
- Seeks someone to "fix" them
- Struggles with personal responsibility
- Often feels misunderstood
Core drive: "I must be in charge to feel safe and loved"
In relationships: Dominant, directive, difficulty with vulnerability
Love language: Acts of service and respect
- Takes charge in most situations
- Difficulty showing weakness or emotion
- Expects others to follow their lead
- Struggles to ask for help
- Values competence and achievement
Core drive: "I need someone to pursue and choose me completely"
In relationships: Emotionally reactive, pursues then withdraws
Love language: Quality time and words of affirmation
- Craves deep emotional connection
- Mood swings between love and anger
- Tests partner's commitment
- Feels unloved when needs aren't anticipated
- Highly sensitive to rejection
Core drive: "I need space and independence to feel comfortable"
In relationships: Emotionally distant, values autonomy
Love language: Acts of service and gifts
- Uncomfortable with intense emotions
- Needs significant alone time
- Difficulty expressing feelings verbally
- Values logic over emotion
- Shows love through actions, not words
Core drive: "I can love and be loved without losing myself"
In relationships: Balanced, emotionally available, communicates well
Love language: All five love languages fluently
- Comfortable with intimacy and independence
- Communicates needs clearly and kindly
- Handles conflict constructively
- Supports partner's growth
- Models emotional maturity
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